Sometimes there is a conflict between help and hurt and the sad fact is that it may apply to even people you love. You see a loved one presumably in pain and the natural urge as a human being with feelings is to offer help because clearly we don’t want to see our loved one get hurt.

What if your offer of help is turned down? Wouldn’t that make you feel angry and disappointed? Helping and hurting are two ends of the same spectrum. Doing one automatically provokes the other. You help others to prevent hurt.

Your offer of help may be seen by them as a burden on you. They feel as though they are hurting you in return as a result of that burden. So they refuse your help to prevent them from carrying that burden. They simply don’t want to see you get hurt by your act of help.

On the other hand they may accept your offer of help in order not to hurt you as well.

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